SCHOOL CAN MAKE YOU CRAZY

So most kids are either back in school, or like us, heading there on Monday.

The first day of school brings on a mental madness that is enough to make you want to
strap on a new jacket - and I don’t mean one from Nordstrom’s half year –yearly sale.
I’m talking about the kind that only comes in white, with a bunch of buckles and locks, and only magicians can get out of it!

Come September, our thoughts start to flip flop at every turn and if we actually spoke our every thought, people would think we are truly crazy because we change our minds, positions and desires more than we ever changed our newborn’s dirty diapers…and that was a lot! Sometimes we don’t even notice it, because it’s normal to moms, but if you pay attention we truly live in a sea of mental contradiction.

Four weeks ago, I looked at the calendar and got bummed out thinking, I can’t believe
school will be starting soon and summer is almost over! So, I jammed in non-stop activities for my boys and me…

I woke up this morning, completely drained from fun and thought to myself, I can’t wait to turn them over to the school system until 2:35 each day. Two seconds later…I start to think about the grind. Then, I resent school starting! Then all of a sudden I want to hold on to all the things that drive me crazy. I want my
family to wake up in PJs, and stay in PJs. I want to watch a bunch of cartoons I can’t stand. I want to hear “What can we do now??” every twenty minutes. I want to know that the minute I pick up the phone, one of my kids will have something very important to ask me. I want to hear “I’m hungry!” the second I finish cleaning the kitchen. I want to build Lego’s, when I don’t give a crap about building Lego’s. I want to say, “Whose shoes are those?” when I know damn well whose shoes they are. I want to hear “Mommy, I want that!” twenty times before I walk out of Target.

Three seconds later…I flip. It will be so nice to have some time to myself again. I can’t wait to hear my own thoughts. I’ll be able to shave the full length of my legs, instead of just the part that shows. When I go shopping, it will be for me, instead of for superhero underpants! Four seconds later…I think to myself…but superhero underpants are so cute!

Five seconds later…I have a flash back of school days. Yuck…I don’t want to be holding up flash cards as I weave through traffic on our way to baseball. I don’t want to say, “Are library books due today?” when I just said it yesterday, and I know I’ll say it again tomorrow. I don’t want to spend $30 to build a Leprechaun Trap…when I know damn well there are NO leprechauns to trap! I don’t want force my seven-year-old kid to learn how to spell Antarctica when I know he will be using spell check for the rest of his life!

My thinking goes back and forth, and back and forth…and, it never ends! Neither
position is right or wrong. It just is, because we are moms…and motherhood is madness with a big dose of “I wouldn’t change it for the world”!